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Showing posts with label FUNNY. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FUNNY. Show all posts

Saturday, May 23, 2009

WHACKY QUOTES

>>Whacky stuff...enjoy it.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
>>
>> Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
>>
>> When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
>>
>> The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.
>>
>> Born free taxed to death.
>>
>> Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
>>
>> Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
>>
>> Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
>>
>> If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have
>>trouble
>> putting on your pants.
>>
>> It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
>>
>> I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
>>
>> A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper
>>tray
>> and the blinking red light.
>>
>> The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot.
>> The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
>>
>> The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to
>> appreciate it.
>>
>> In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
>>
>> If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe,
>> he'll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just
>>been
>> painted, he has to touch it to be sure.
>>
>> If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
>>
>> Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
>>
>> If you can't convince them, confuse them.
>>
>> It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the
>>end.
>>
>> I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
>>
>> Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Camino's Law of Burnt
>>Fingers
>>
>> Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large
>>groups.
>>
>> The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
>>
>> Someday is not a day of the week.
>>
>> Complex problems have simple, easy to understand wrong
>>answers.
>>